Things I Want Rebecca To Know, Volume 1

Several months ago, I was engaging in my guilty pleasure of celebrity gossip via www.people.com and I saw a blog about babies written by 80s TV actress Jenna Von Oy.  For those of you of my generation, you will remember her as Six on the show Blossom.  She has a baby 4 or 5 months older than Rebecca and she's quite a talented writer.  She wrote a post listing out things she wanted her daughter to know.  It really made me think about lessons I've learned and what I would want to pass on to my own daughter.  I will likely steal some of hers because they are beautifully and humorously written, but here are a few I've written to add to it:

Know that it will break my heart to have to leave you each day when I have to go back to work.  In your life, you will learn that sometimes, reality dictates the decisions we make, and those decisions often leave us feeling upset or disappointed that life has treated us unfairly.  That’s how I feel about going back to work and not getting to stay home with you.  It doesn’t mean I love you any less.

Trust that mommy and daddy will always do our best to do what’s best for you.  Know that when you are crying, we will get you food, a diaper change, a hug…whatever it is that you need.  It may take a couple more minutes than you’d like, but we will be there.  I promise.  Remember that trust when you get older and we tell you that you can’t do something or go somewhere or date a certain boy.  We are doing what’s best for you – even though you may not see it. 

Show common courtesy for others, even when (maybe especially when), it’s that person’s job to serve you – waitresses, grocery store clerks – even mommy and daddy…always say please and thank you.

Don’t get into debt.  Getting that first credit card with your very own name on it will feel like an incredibly grown up and powerful thing.  Mommy learned the hard way though, that it is far more grown up and powerful not to use the card for unnecessary purchases.  And trust me, they are almost always unnecessary purchases!

Find good friends.  Friends will inevitably come and go throughout your childhood, but if you choose carefully, and are very lucky, a few of them will stick around for many years.  Your friends should be those you can laugh hysterically with, do crazy (but safe) things with, will come to your aid when you don’t even know you need it, will not put conditions on your friendship or make your friendship contingent upon something.  When you find a friend like that, hold on to her!

When you fall in love (or think it’s love), don’t lose yourself for the sake of the relationship.  Relationships are hard.  Sometimes you think you’ve found the right person and do everything you can to keep them in your life.  While it’s true that compromise is an essential part of a relationship, there has to be a give and take by both people.  If there isn’t, and you find that you are giving in too often – even to the point that you don’t know who you are or what you like anymore, it’s probably time to end the relationship, as hard as it may be.

Get an education.  One of Mommy’s biggest regrets in life was not finishing college.  I may be able to go back someday, but I encourage you to go right after high school.  Even if you still don’t know what you want to be when you “grow up”…go to school.  It’s one of the places where you may find the answer to that question.  Explore lots of different classes if you need to.  You may just find your life’s passion.  And even if you don’t, you will be well educated in the basics and ready to take on life.

Find things you love and do them.  I hope you’re able to find a passion in your life.  For Mommy, it is music and cooking.  I was part of choirs for years in school and loved it!  I think it’s one of the few things that got me through high school in one piece.  I miss singing on a regular basis, and wish I had never stopped.  When you find something you love – the arts, sports, academia – whatever it is – stay involved in it as much as you can.

Always remember how much we love you.  You are a miracle to us, we are so blessed to have you as our daughter.  Even when you are mad at us, or we are mad at you, remember that we love you.  We love you more than we can express to you.  You are beautiful to us in every way.  You are strong and smart and good.   We will tell you, often, that we love you – remember to do the same to all those that you love (especially us).