We are in the process of trying to get Rebecca (and us) on a more strict schedule. Who knew there were SO many different opinions on the topic! So many "experts" who each have done probably thousands of hours of research and are sure that their way is the only way your baby will be happy and well-adjusted.
I have already figured out that parenting comes with lots of opinions from other people and there's no way you can follow all of it. The best way is to gather information and then put together some sort of plan that works best for you and your baby, which is what I'm trying to do right now.
Scheduling has been one of the most confusing topics yet...and I am still trying to figure out something that works for us. Rebecca is not napping very well during the day - I think partially because we unknowingly started some bad habits with her from day one. But it's time to start working on changing that and praying for a smooth transition.
One of the most controversial things about scheduling (napping specifically) is whether or not you let the baby cry it out when you put them down. So, basically, you put them down for a nap at a specific time (or at a specific point in the day) and if they don't fall asleep and start to cry - do you let them cry until they fall asleep or do you assume they are not tired so you pick them up?
There are experts who say that allowing a child to cry it out teaches the child that you are not there for them, that they cannot depend on you. There are others who say that allowing the child to cry teaches them to soothe themselves, to get themselves to sleep, to entertain themselves, to be more independent.
My wonderful friend Gina told me that her dad gave her some very wise advice when her son was first born. He reminded her that baby chicks have to peck their way out of their shell in order to gain the strength they need to survive. It is part of the growing up process for them. And it's the same for babies with crying - they need to do it to be strong - part of the growing up process for them. Before parenthood, I would say that I agree with that. But now, hearing her cry, it's like she's saying "help me mommy" or "don't leave me mommy". It hurts my heart. But, which way is best? Take the poll at the right and let me know what you think.
2 comments:
I believe a little crying isn't harmful. My pediatrician once said "crying is really a baby's only form of exercise" and that letting them cry for a certain time limit before you get them will help them learn that you will always come for them, and give them a chance to calm down on their own first also. For naps I used to give my restless ones 15 minutes before I got them. If you can't stand it don't do it...just know that in all of parenting consistency is usually your greatest ally - so choose a plan and stick with it so Rebecca's knows what to expect one way or another.
I agree with a time limit of crying. I think crying is a form of communication. sometimes the cry is just--"I'm tired" end of story. It does take time for them to get the notion of this is my nap time. And just for the record, I'm still trying to figure out parenting.
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